


The One Where King George III is a Gay Prostitute and Some Fuckboys Hire Him For a Night Just to Say They Did It

by CoralFlowerBad (CoralFlower)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Homophobic Language, M/M, Prostitution, Straight Boys, based on an intrusive memory whee, fetishisation of homosexuality, fuckbois, kind of a shitty situation, not smut, probably really funny if the fuckboy stuff doesnt gross you out too much, say no to this but with king george, some real gross str8 ppl stuff, some vague transphobia too whoops, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 22:25:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9849125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralFlower/pseuds/CoralFlowerBad
Summary: (if youve had bad experiences with homophobia and youre easily triggered, then dont read this. please stay safe okay? youre strong, dont stop fighting)There are perks, for sure, to being the only one in the entire city who can suck dick better than the General himself. The perks are great. The perks are hot tubs, high heels, fast cars, everything else that capitalism reserves for those who have something exploitable, like a mouth. Yours happens to be particularly exploitable, and because of that, everyone knows your name. Practically everyone.There are perks, and then there are jerks. Jerks like James Hell-no-I'm-not-telling-you-my-surname (sic), who is paying you fifty bucks an hour to sit in this hot tub with him and all his straight friends, because they’ve never met a non-heterosexual in person. They don’t think they have. They probably have and didn’t know it. Well, anyway, you’re a fetish, but at least it pays well. At least it pays well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so this is a vent fic so if youre about to tell me its problematic yeah it was also problematic when it happened to me what are you doing about it man
> 
> like yeah this exact scenario didnt happen its a bunch of stuff compiled together and the setting is from something that i didnt even write about in this cus im Hella Not Ready (maybe ill put it in [butterflies](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8858878/chapters/20314681) which is my angsty lams breakup fic that you should totally definitely go read if youre ready to cry). but yeah.
> 
> this wasnt even a fanfic at first i started writing it and suddenly the main character's name was georgie. and suddenly the bi dude was alexander. and then im like fuck it lets change damien to james and name this other fuckboi thomas. credit goes to the fuckbois on my bus for coming up with the "tamara" thing. i stole it from them they dont know im using it. 
> 
> wait fuck james is my ex's name
> 
> ...my life is full of shitty coincidences, welcome to a piece of it. have fun.
> 
> enjoy i guess lmao.

There are perks, for sure, to being the only one in the entire city who can suck dick better than the General himself. The perks are great. The perks are hot tubs, high heels, fast cars, everything else that capitalism reserves for those who have something exploitable, like a mouth. Yours happens to be particularly exploitable, and because of that, everyone knows your name. Practically everyone.

 

There are perks, and then there are jerks. Jerks like James Hell-no-I'm-not-telling-you-my-surname (sic), who is paying you fifty bucks an hour to sit in this hot tub with him and all his straight friends, because they’ve never met a non-heterosexual in person. They don’t think they have. They probably have and didn’t know it. Well, anyway, you’re a fetish, but at least it pays well. At least it pays well.

 

“So, Georgie, tell us a little about yourself.”

 

You push away intelligent thought and settle down into the stereotype you have in your head, the one that you make yourself become every night because it pays the bills and more. You had a dream once. It doesn’t matter. You have fast cars and long-lasting lipstick now; what else could a boy want?

 

“Well usually I don’t go by Georgie, just George, especially with straight people because Georgie feels like sort of a romantic nickname to me but it’s whatever you know? Call me whatever you want.” 

 

“How many dicks have you sucked?”

 

At this point, the guy across the hot tub from you probably wants you to do something that’s his idea of homosexual, like wink at him and say  _ I’d tell you but then I’d have to charge you to suck yours, _ or  _ What’s our population here again? _

 

The thing is, guys like these don’t like it as much when you do stuff they expect. What they like is when they can’t believe how fucking gay you are, like they knew they couldn’t imagine it and then got surprised anyways.

 

“Quality over quantity, dude, I’ve sucked some good ones.”

 

James chokes on his Sierra Mist to your left, and they all laugh, at him for choking and at you for your answer. 

 

“Ever choked on a dick?” It’s the guy to your right asking this time. Doesn’t matter, they’re all the same anyways.

 

“What’s your name, man?”

 

He coughs out a chuckle that’s saturated in the essence of his own ego, and says,

 

“Alexander.”

 

You lower your eyelids as you keep eye contact with him, and say,

 

“Well, wanna find out?”

 

A chorus of “ooo”s drowns out his response as he looks away and flushes, and you narrow your eyes at him. (Your response didn't even make sense. Straight guys are so easy.)

 

“Dude, Alexander, are you sure you’re a heterosexual?”

 

He looks at you, eyes wide and panicky as he plays it cool and answers you.

 

“Yeah, man, tits are the  _ shit.” _

 

You decide to let him be for now.

 

“Aight, aight, I’m just playin’ with you.” You know he knows you know. You glance around at the others in the hot tub. “Any other questions?”

 

“Yeah bro.”

 

The guy across from you again.

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“I’m Thomas. How much would it be for you to suck Lexi’s dick?”

 

“Don’t call me Lexi,  _ Tamara _ .”

 

“Girls, you’re both pretty, but I’m  _ gay,” _ you say. James cracks up. Thomas rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, leaning back and repeating his question.

 

“No really, how much?”

 

You look at Alexander, who definitely seems to be getting uncomfortable.

 

“I can’t do it without his consent, but my flat rate is fifty bucks an hour, which is already covered for tonight.”

 

There’s a glint in Thomas’s eye that you’ve seen before in other people, and you’re really glad you’re not Alexander right now.

 

“What do you say, Alexander?”

 

His voice shakes when he answers.

 

“I say that’s gay.”

 

“It’s not gay unless you look into my eyes as I swallow your cum, man.” James and Thomas burst out laughing again, and you take a moment to make eye contact with Alexander, who still looks really put on the spot. It’s really easy to figure out and replicate straight male humor, especially in relation to gay people. You’ve seen it in so many different forms that you almost always notice an opening. “Plus I’m wearing lipstick so it’s extra hella not gay.”

 

You’re lying. The lipstick makes it gayer. You see him glance down at your lips, so you bite down gently on your bottom lip just for him and it’s gratifying to watch how he blushes almost everywhere.

 

“Yeah, Alex, it’s not gay if you don’t look at him.”

 

“I perform better if you watch me though.” You say it with a wink that Thomas notices. Thomas also notices everything else.

 

“I don’t think--”

 

“Hey, don’t get me wrong,” you cut him off, “I’m not gonna do anything if you say no, man. There’s no shame in not consenting.”

 

Alexander just watches your lips the whole time you talk and then says,

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Okay, go ahead. Come at me.”

 

You wink and tell him,

 

“Ideally, you’ll be the one who’s coming on me.”

**Author's Note:**

> that mention of sierra mist isnt a product placement im not sponsored by them lmao it just seems like an especially fuckboi-in-a-hottub sort of soda to me idk


End file.
